Chaos Looms as Witch Doctor July Moyo Becomes Energy Minister in a Nation Entrenched in Ritualistic Folklore
By Farai D Hove | ZimEye | ANALYSIS | In a move that has ignited controversy, ridicule, and fear, the President of our beleaguered nation has appointed July Moyo, his long-time ritualistic witch doctor, as the new Minister of Energy. In a country already grappling with bizarre and deeply superstitious practices surrounding electricity production, this decision has sent shockwaves through both the public and international observers.
The appointment comes as the nation faces a dire energy crisis, marked by daily blackouts lasting up to 18 hours and industries crippled by erratic power supplies. But instead of pursuing tangible solutions rooted in science and technology, the government appears to have embraced the absurd. Moyo, notorious for his ritualistic practices, is expected to oversee the country’s energy portfolio, raising fears of even more unconventional and unscientific attempts to “generate” power.
A History of Rituals in the Energy Sector
The appointment of Moyo is not an isolated incident in the nation’s troubled history with energy policies. In 2007, during the height of the country’s energy crisis, a group of government officials famously claimed that diesel was oozing from the sacred Chinhoyi Mountain. A witch doctor had allegedly performed rituals to summon diesel from the rocks. The bizarre claim saw ministers rushing to the site, accompanied by drums, songs, and promises of a miraculous energy solution. The debacle ultimately unraveled as a scam, embarrassing the government and exposing the lengths to which desperation had driven national leadership.
In 2019, the country signed a staggering USD 5 billion contract to extract diesel from coal. However, like the Chinhoyi incident, the project never materialized. Instead, it became another footnote in the nation’s legacy of mismanagement, corruption, and the blending of mystical beliefs with national policy-making.
Adding insult to injury, the country recently dangled millions to convicted fraudster Wicknell Chivayo in the belief that electricity would soon flow under his stewardship. With such irrational decisions setting the precedent, it’s only a matter of time before we witness even more fantastical attempts to resolve the crisis. Very soon, the country could see:
1. Electric wires being connected to graves in an attempt to “harness ancestral energy.”
2. Electric wires being connected to mountains, in the hope of tapping into some mystical “earth current.”
3. Electric wires being connected to coal stones, with the promise that rituals will make them self-combust to produce endless energy.
4. Electric wires being connected to more fat-bellied characters like Wicknell, who somehow become the face of the energy sector despite lacking expertise or integrity.
July Moyo’s Legacy of Ritualism
July Moyo’s appointment as Energy Minister has dredged up old fears about the role of ritualism in government. Known for presiding over secret ceremonies involving sacrifices and invocations, Moyo has long been a controversial figure within political circles. Critics argue that his rise to power signals a further descent into irrationality at a time when the country desperately needs practical, modern solutions to its energy crisis.
His first act as Energy Minister reportedly involved a ceremony in which he “consulted ancestral spirits” about the future of the country’s electricity grid. Eyewitnesses described scenes of animal sacrifices and chants, as Moyo promised that “the ancestors will light up the nation.” While some citizens, desperate for any resolution to the power crisis, clung to hope, others expressed outrage over what they see as a dangerous distraction from addressing systemic issues like decaying infrastructure and corruption.
Public Reaction and International Concern
The reaction to Moyo’s appointment has been one of widespread disbelief and growing unrest. Social media platforms are ablaze with criticism, with many mocking the government for prioritizing superstition over science. Protesters have already begun gathering in major cities, demanding the dismissal of Moyo and the implementation of practical energy solutions.
Internationally, the appointment has been met with skepticism and concern. Energy experts and investors, already wary of the country’s tumultuous policies, are now questioning the credibility of a government willing to entrust its energy future to a figure rooted in mysticism. Neighboring countries, too, are watching closely, worried about the potential for regional instability as the nation edges closer to chaos.
A Nation at a Crossroads
As the energy crisis deepens, the appointment of July Moyo represents a critical turning point for the nation. Will this move plunge the country further into darkness—both literal and figurative—or will it finally galvanize citizens to demand accountability and reject the intertwining of folklore with governance?
For now, the country remains in the grip of uncertainty, its future clouded by rituals, broken promises, and the ever-present specter of mismanagement. Only time will tell whether this gamble on superstition will yield light or leave the nation in an even deeper shadow.