By Reason Wafawarova|

ED MYTHS & MINISTRY OF MYSTERIES

I’ve spoken to two Zambian lawyers who were at the University of Zambia Law School between 1971 and 1975—a time when the entire law student population could probably fit in a kombi. They say they remember almost everyone… except, strangely, one Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwa.

Perhaps he was there. Perhaps he was just very, very quiet. So quiet, in fact, that even the walls have forgotten him.

Now, I won’t dive too deep into the hazy tale of Mnangagwa allegedly bombing or derailing a locomotive in Fort Victoria. Mostly because, well, there’s no actual locomotive, no photos, no wreckage—just a gripping story that’s been riding the rails of rumor for decades.

Here’s what we do know: ED was arrested, tried, and sentenced to 10 years. According to Michael Mawema, it had something to do with homemade explosives—or maybe just the suspicion of being explosive-adjacent. Note Mnangagwa was arrested at Mawema’s house. He says the late nationalist dobbed him in. We don’t know how the Rhodesian police got to the house, where ED says he was hiding after blowing up a locomotive in Fort Victoria, 300 km away.

We have also proved beyond any reasonable doubt that the narrative that Mnangagwa was part of the Crocodile Gang in 1964 is not backed by any shred of evidence. We have an impeccable record of the 5 members of the Gang – and we have already written extensively on this.

The part about a death sentence for derailing a train? That’s mainly Mnangagwa’s own script. Court records? Scarce. Drama? Abundant.

He was released in 1974. Then, somehow, in a plot twist worthy of a Netflix series, he claims to have graduated with an LLB from UNZA in 1975. Just a year after leaving prison. Houdini has nothing on this guy.

Then comes the claim he practiced law in 1976 and 1977, under the firm of the respected Enoch Dumbutshena. By 1977, he joins the liberation struggle, after a little nudge from brother-in-law Josiah Tongogara.

Fast forward to the recent funeral of Edgar Lungu. ED—never one to miss a chance for dramatic flair—announces Lungu was his junior at UNZA Law School in the 70s.

Small problem: Lungu only enrolled in 1978, and graduated in 1981. So unless there’s a hidden time machine buried under Lusaka, someone’s memory is either playing tricks or performing acrobatics.

Contrived? Could be.
Plain liar? Quite possibly.
Misunderstood genius? That’s always on the table.

But one thing’s clear—when it comes to Emmerson Mnangagwa, history isn’t written by the victors. It’s ghostwritten by a team of political screenwriters.

While at it, let me highlight another recent piece of drama related to this – a bunch of happy chubby fellows in their late 70s and 80s recently paraded at the Zimbabwe State House as ED’s former classmates at UNZA. That was some piece of work. I am sure the innocent bought it, the ignoranuses swallowed it, and the enthusiasts loved it. The gullible took it as statesmanship. The doubtful raised eyebrows. We watched with hilarious excitement. Piles and piles of historical lies sanitised by the shenanigans of the living, taking advantage of the absence of the dead.

Shortly we will be telling you more about this choreography – detailing who was who, and what the PR motive was.