It takes time and effort to change and it takes time for a spouse to believe that the positive change is real, and respond with his or her own changes. Whether we accept it or not change is happening, for good or for worse.
If You Have Recently Changed In A Positive Way
If you have recently changed in a positive way, it is going to take a long time for your spouse to fully, 100% know you have changed and that you will not change back. This is not (necessarily) a lack of believing you, but rather a part of human nature that is very difficult to fight. Do not take it personally, do not confront your spouse about it, and do not give up. Remember that it is you who moved forward and is ahead. But your spouse can not comprehend it. You made the change first of all for you own seek, not just to please people. Keep going, keep growing and doing what you should, and wait for your spouse to catch up.
Lack Of Quick Belief In The Change Can Discourage
Most people get discouraged by the lack of quick belief from their family and quickly give up, going back way behind where they have been. You have to fight to maintain and defend you change. The environment will not make it easy. Instead find and hang around people who believe in you, people who can motivate you when your spouse is trying to push you in the opposite direction.
If It’s Your Spouse Who Has Recently Changed
If it’s your spouse who has recently changed, not being able to fully accept him/her change is beyond your control. However, you can work to control what you do and say. Verbally appreciate the change in your spouse. If you fail, let him or her know that you are trying your best.
It Takes Time To Trust
It takes time to trust, especially after incidents of disappointments. On the other hand, blind faith is even more dangerous. If you need more evidence and time to get assured that your spouse has really changed, go ahead and make sure. But do not disappoint your spouse in the process. Remember he or she has put a lot of effort in order to be where he or she is today. What your spouse needs is support, not a critic. The fact that he or she has changed means he or she knows that he or she was in the wrong path. Reminding him or her of the past does not make things better, but worse.
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