By Dr Masimba Mavaza | On Monday the 11th of December 2023 I woke up in the morning to see fourteen missed calls from one of my Nieces Linda Chinokopota. Mostly Linda only calls when she needs money, so I said fourteen calls she must be really desperate. Then I saw a missed call from Mandy my Nephew’s wife mai Raa as she is passionately called.
I decided to call mai Raa first. I did not believe my ears.She said Arthur had collapsed and is hospital in South Africa. She went on to force a knife into my heart by saying” the doctor said he might not make it” my heart sank and I felt a pain I had never felt before. I got the leading doctor’s number.
The news was not pleasing. Arthur was dying his blood pressure shot up and bursted some veins in the head resulting in a brain haemorrhage. The doctor said if only Arthur had received urgent attention he would have been saved.
I was in pain and was frantically trying to suggest some medication which could be administered inorder to drain the blood from the brain. That was Monday afternoon.
To my shock and disbelief the doctor’s made a decision to remove the life support equipment which was put on Arthur. This they did without informing the relatives. They made their own decision. Arthur was let down by professionals who treated him with care which was tainted with discrimination.
The type of treatment given to Arthur exposed South Africa’s Xenophobic culture. Wednesday morning around 6 am UK time I received a call from Mandie. When I saw the phone flashing Mandie’s name I knew straight away that Arthur was gone. Yes Mandy confirmed my fears Arthur had breathed his last that morning.
Arthur was born on the 16th March 1978 to Anselm MIDZI and the late Thandiwe Mavaza. He is the first born of five Children who are Atridge Taurai Wish Bradley and Sonia Isabel.
He was blessed with two sons Ramsey MASIMBA MIDZI and Ryan MIDZI. He left behind his wife Mandy and several cousins nieces. When I was told about the death of Arthur I felt my intestines coming through my mouth. I could not breathe. I struggled to open my eyes. All I could see was darkness.
My tears started flowing down my chicks. I could not control them. I managed to stand up. Staggered towards my wardrobe. I entered in the walk in and I felt my legs giving up to the weight of my body. I fell on the suitcase which was in the centre of the walk inn. I started crying uncontrollably.
I realised losing my nephew Aurthur Midzi to the angels above affected me, big time.
It was Wednesday the 13th of December 2023 I had started my writing at 06:30 and my day was promising to be going quite normal then my nephew’s wife phoned me and told me Arthur was gone. The day was taken over by a feeling I can only describe as gut wrenching, after a long silence it dawned into me that Arthur was really gone.
But the rest of the day wasn’t normal, it was constantly wondering why my nephew died. The news that Arthur was dead was gut wrenching there’s no words to describe how I felt.
The two days Arthur spent in the hospital were an agonizing mix of bad day and anxious day. Even as the news got more and more grim, I refused to give up hope, and told myself it will be well.
My sister sisi Joy Enara told me that the situation is one you can come out from. She told me to take heart and believe that he will surely shake the illness off. I dived into that hope. As painful as it was to hear that this sweet little baby so unwell and hooked up to all sorts of medical equipment and machines I knew that he would be at peace no matter what. I believed earnestly that Arthur will be fine. When I was told that my nephew the most beautiful soul in the world had gone and I just burst into tears, I knew I had to be strong for my wife and children and my brother and sisters but also for the rest of my family, I’m the brother of many sisters who all needed me in there own different ways. I so wanted to be with my sisters and brothers comforting them and my other family knowing that day would be one of the hardest days in my life. But I could not travel to
africa soon. I remained strong until I spoke tonRamsey MASIMBA Midzi the son of Arthur names MASIMBA in my honour even though everybody calls him Ramsey, I broke down, I completely lost it, being comforted by family and friends made it that tiny bit easier I was in tears trying to comfort my sisters and my brother on the other side of the phone who were also in pieces at this time, no words can describe how I felt and how I am feeling and they never ever will, loosing a child wether it is a son daughter niece nephew or no relation at all will never be easy at all, but you never think You will go through it and when it happens to you there’s no words that can describe the rollercoaster of emotion and hurt that runs through your head.
Our hearts ache with grief, but we must remember that Arthur Midzi would want us to remember him with love and joy, not just sorrow. In the end, it’s not the years in life that matter, but the life in the years.Arthur was not just my nephew, but a dear friend, a confidante, an essential part of my life and as good as my son. He had a vitality that was contagious, a spirit that was indomitable. He embraced life with a zest and enthusiasm that was truly inspiring.
I remember when he was just a little boy; he had an insatiable curiosity about the world. He was my Pathfinder as I trained the youth on how to navigate into childhood. It was a joy to watch him grow and evolve, learning, exploring, making a difference in his unique ways.
But beyond his interests and achievements, what truly defined Arthur was his character. He was a person of integrity, compassion, and warmth. His resilient spirit, even in the face of adversity, was admirable.
Arthur impacted my life in more ways than I can articulate. His wisdom belied his years, and I often found myself turning to him for advice or insight. His optimistic outlook on life, his tenacity, and his innate ability to see the good in everything and everyone has left an indelible mark on my heart.
Today, as we grapple with this profound loss, I take solace in the memories we made, the laughter we shared, and the countless moments of joy he brought into our lives.
In the end, it’s not the years in life that matter, but the life in the years. And Arthur lived his years fully, touching our lives, leaving us with beautiful memories that we will cherish forever.
As we say our final goodbyes, let us remember him for his indomitable spirit, his joyous laughter, and the love he had for each one of us.”As I think of the absolute finality of death and realise that I can no longer speak to him, I rue the missed opportunities – the conversations I could have had with him but never did. I suppose that is the cruelty of death – and life. My uncle is no more and I shall never see or speak to him again. I cannot tell him how much I loved him – nor could I ask him what he thought about one idea or another. You see, in my mind, I spoke to him everyday – sometimes twice and three times a day. And now, while my only wish is to write to him a million emails, I no longer can.
Arthur was but he no longer is and before that very moment when he drew his last breath and the rhythm of his breathing broke, I had so many opportunities. I could pick up the phone, drop him an email and expect to hear his voice or read his wonderful notes of love. But now, Arthur is no longer with us. I feel the pain of the loss churning deep inside the base of my stomach. No amount of tears can wash away the wound of losing the dearest man in my life but I still cry – and at times, it’s difficult to stop.. I cannot stop crying for the man who represented everything that was beautiful in this world to me. My heart cannot accept the passing of my greatest idol – my sister’s son.
He cherished each sunrise and sunset and described nature with great thoughtfulness and a hint of mischievous glee. He delved deep inside life itself with the sole intention of retrieving its inner beauty and displaying his discovery for all to see. never imagined that it would be my beloved nephew who would leave us, being robbed of a whole life ahead of him.
Life is full of human suffering and could be so profoundly unfair.
I am experiencing days of such heartbreak and gut-wrenching pain from my brother and the rest of his family. When I think of the family at home the feeling of compassion and helplessness flooded and overwhelmed me. I knew there is nothing I can say or do to alleviate or dissipate such profound grief from family and friends.
Their bitter tears and welling sobs ebbed and flows throughout the day.
We are all questioning why this happened, and what he did to deserve such.
Burying a son is beyond agonizing to witness. Children are never supposed to die before their parents. Never ever.
There was no preparation. An unfortunate incident cost him his life and the shock of his unexpected and senseless death is impossible to process.
I feel my heart being torn into pieces as toss around in my bed. I am afraid that I am further being inflicted pain upon pain. Whe I grovell to my knees and can barely stand because the pain is unbearable. I excruciatingly bared witness to this all.Another arrow through my heart.The anguish is palpable.
I yearn to relieve even just a minuscule amount of my pain. Today is a true test of my willingness to be with all the feelings that arise staying in the here and now, and connected and in my relationships.
I sit here as I process it all and feel an array of feelings. I also notice how my mind and body just want to cut off and numb out, because it feels too overwhelming and agonizing. I want to be genuine with my feelings for my brother, my sweet nephew, and for myself. We all deserve the kindness.
I appreciate how some family relationships are being repaired through this sorrow but wish it wouldn’t have taken this. It’s ironic how often through death, that we are reminded how to live.
I wonder if my nephew was such a blessing that even in his untimely death, he brought people together.
He is being eulogized as being a person who exemplified pure joy. He was always seeing things positively and was someone who looked for and found the goodness in people. He set that example for all of us and put in context what we can all strive for. He profoundly reminded us of that.
My sadness keeps overtaking me. I’ll be with it openly and compassionately.
May Arthur’s memory be a blessing, and may God bless his family.
For how long will God keep silent. Come Lord Jesus. Even so come Lord Jesus.