Obert Mundevere Ncube on Facebook

I can’t stop laughing reading this. Let me share, can’t laugh alone. It’s so funny, not trying to offend my friends though.

Quote::

Based on the manner in which our security services behaved moments after that explosion went off yesterday, I honestly do not think our soldiers can win a war against a group of monkeys.

Have you ever seen how cockroaches behave as soon as you walk into the kitchen and switch the lights on late at night? They all scatter in different directions, isn’t it? They all adopt a “each cockroach for himself and God for us all, handei tione ana mhata” mentality.

That’s exactly what we witnessed yesterday.

There was chaos, confusion, panic, disorganizationand fear. Mnangagwa’s bodyguards, who like to appear very tough and menacing simply vanished. Hanzi there were were seven people in the presidential car including a garden boy packed in there like tinned fish! Mnangagwa actually ended up in the front passenger seat!! Can you imagine that! Such was the chaos.

The tough talking illiterate vice president, Chiwenga the greatest soldier ever, had long abandoned his wife and ran for dear life. He was paralysed with fear and was seen tightly holding onto the other vice president, Kembo Mohadi, who at this point had urinated himself. Hanzi the urine had dripped down into his shoes such that when he ran, all you could hear was CHAPWA CHAPWA CHAPWA…the sounds of wet socks and feet drenched in urine. Chiwenga’s wife, Merryfields, was trapped underneath a fat minister and subsequently broke her legs and ribs.

ZANU PF supporters, shame maningi, couldn’t find their worthless leader, the Great Fearless Crocodile. All they could see was his car speeding off into the distance, leaving them to face the music on their own. They looked to the stage to see if the tough talking vice president was there for them, but all that was left was a large dildo, a pregnant Emmerson Jnr, a disabled guy in a wheelchair and fat worthless ministers rolling all over the place.

There was no one to calm the crowd. There was no one to direct the crowd in an orderly manner. The soldiers were lying on the ground in fear of another attack. They were dispersed, had no visuals of each other. In the end, they all left in a hurry back to wherever they are camped at and nobody even bothered to investigate what had happened.

I’m telling you, we will never win a war against a group of monkeys.