My Dear People
THE harmonised elections held on August 23, spilling into the next day were one of the most shambolic and embarrassing polls held in the country since independence in 1980.
It was a damning indictment of not only the incompetent Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (Zec), but also the entire dispensation of darkness, poverty and confusion.
The Chigumba-led Zec combination of skull-duggery and incompetence is an advertisement of not how to conduct elections.
Even though we have always known that this commission is not fit for purpose, no one could have imagined that this outfit, stuffed with Zanu PF loyalists who include Duggish’s daughter, could plumb to such lows.
Delays in the delivery of ballot papers by up to 12 hours or in some cases not bringing them at all in mostly urban areas, which are opposition Citizens’ Coalition for Change strongholds, smacks of desperation to suppress voters.
Even blaming the delays on court cases around the elections is a load of cobblers given that it was known well in advance when the polls would be held and the number of voters in the various constituencies was public information.
The hollow excuse by Zec does not justify the issuing of inadequate ballot papers that soon ran out in some areas despite its knowledge of the number of voters.
Gushungo may have had his faults, most of which were greatly exaggerated, but never did he preside over such a catastrophic electoral process as the one witnessed under the auspices of the second repubric.
After Ngwena issued a proclamation to extend voting by another day in some wards, a befuddled Ziyambi Ziyambi could not even give clarity on whether the extended day would also be a national holiday.
He could only unhelpfully point out those who were voting on the day were “technically” on holiday, whatever the hell that meant.
All in all it was a major sham.
The measures taken by the coup cabal to avoid defeat to the Nero-led CCC amused and amazed in equal measure.
This included the laughable distribution of pamphlets with Nero’s picture on the day of the election urging his supporters not to vote as the elections were rigged.
It would have taken a certain kind of idiot not to see through this amateurish ruse.
Other measures were to have members of the shadowy FAZ setting up tables outside certain polling stations for “interviews” in a clear violation of the electoral laws as well as the foisting of candidates on the CCC party ticket to cause confusion.
However, all these silly tricks failed to prevent the defeats of the likes of Scott Sakupwanya, the self-proclaimed school dropout who thought he could win the Mabvuku constituency by shelling out thousands of dollars to bring famous retired boxer Floyd Mayweather.
Modi in Bulawayo was also retired after the chaos caused by Daggie in the MDC Alliance in 2018 gifted him a parliamentary seat.
Clearly, Bulawayo voters felt he should be given time off to run his supermarkets. kikikiki
Munopengaaaaaa
The shenanigans also failed to halt the defeat of Mthuli in Cowdray Park.
Voters refused to reward Mthuli for worsening their poverty and misery with his bankrupt economic gymnastics. I laughed my lungs out when the ruining party sent a fulminating Chris to respond to the devastating blows thrown by one Nevers from Zambia on behalf of Sadc.
The cabal thought they could fool everyone by pretending that the sham election was free and fair, but this time they met indoda sibili from across the Zambezi. For once, Sadc summoned enough courage to tell the Lacoste group that stealing elections is now old fashioned. I am still enjoying watching them trying to recover from that killer punch.
Munopengaaaa
My commiserations to Mr Bin, who lost a whopping US$6 700 and 1 500 fuel coupons of 20 litres each when his car was robbed in front of a five-star hotel in Harare.
However, one cannot help but think that as a former Finance minister, Mr Bin should know better than carry so much money around, especially when his party talks of the importance of putting money in banks and not under the mattress or in this case, in car seats.
That the huge amount of money that was stolen was hard currency and not the local currency his party introduced and exhorts that it be used shows the hypocrisy and duplicity of the Lacoste regime.
Mr Bin, who will always be remembered for officiating the opening of a dustbin complete with ribbons and scissors, has always blasted the United States for imposing sanctions on the country on his long-winding rants on micro-blogging site X formerly known as Twitter, but has no problem in using its currency instead of the Zimbabwe dollar.
Even his boss Ngwena, in a state of visible excitement, called the US dollar real money when he received funding from the US to assist those citizen affected by the devastating cyclone Idai.
The double standards of these political relics is nothing short of scandalous.
Gushungo chete chete
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
— The Standard