Love, Lies, and Laundry: The Owen and Anastasia Mystery
By Dorrothy Moyo | ZimEye | It was just another day in the Republic of Confusion — better known as Zimbabwe — where fuel queues, power cuts, and political circus acts never go out of style.
Enter Owen “Mudha” Ncube, dressed like a magician at a village talent show, and Anastasia Ndhlovu, wielding her car keys like a sceptre of power.
The cameras flashed.
The streets whispered.
Facebook caught fire.
“Are they lovers?” screamed the headlines.
“Do they have children?” roared the WhatsApp groups.
“Is this a new Netflix series called ‘Stripes and Scandals’?” someone wondered aloud.
Polls were launched.
Democracy lived for a moment, not at the ballot box — but in voting whether Mudha and Anastasia were “just a good match” or “needed factory settings restored.”
Meanwhile, confused citizens looked at their empty bank accounts and wondered how these two had time for love affairs, fashion experiments, and public flirting while the economy was busier dying than a lizard in a freezer.
On Facebook, some voters declared:
“Brother and sister. Same mother, same blender.”
Others, more savage, simply said:
“I see two men here.”
Yet amid the jokes, a painful truth lingered like a bad smell at a broken sewer:
To the struggling citizen, whether Owen and Anastasia were lovers, cousins, or cosplay partners was irrelevant.
The real heartbreak was how two seasoned politicians could stroll around flashing grins, while bread prices flashed through the stratosphere and hospitals begged for gloves.
In the end, the Mudha-Anastasia saga became just another skit in Zimbabwe’s endless soap opera —
A show where the main characters fall in love with power, while the people fall deeper into poverty.
Coming soon:
Season 2 — “Owen and Anastasia: The Baby Shower Edition?”
