Making new friends is important when it comes to trying to maintain high levels of morale.

But in a time when most people walk around with their heads down, staring at the phones whilst watching dash cam footage of road rage incidents, then how can citizens be expected to make new friends?

The days of going up to random people and saying “Will you be my friend?” have long gone with their being a high chance of your being punched in the face should you approach a random person with such a question.

And this is why the “Ministry of Morale” is pleased to announce that we will be rolling out these new public toilets which should give citizens the chance to make new friends whilst passing bodily fluids and solids.

The toilets will also be unisex meaning that if you are single and your are ‘caught short’ whilst out-and-about, then you will have a great opportunity to meet potential new dates.

The toilets will be free to use (for the first 6 months) and will also be fitted with CCTV so that individuals who do end up starting a relationship having been to the toilet in front of one another, can request to get the footage of the moment they first met.

This footage can then be uploaded to social media for the whole world to see.

Our Chief Morale Officer said:

“Usually, when people are forced to use public toilets, they are overcome with an enormous sense of anxiety at the thought of having to use a toilet that would not look out of place in a pig farm.

“However, we think that these new toilets will be a great way to not only encourage people to use public toilets, but they will also be a great opportunity for people to make new friends and to meet future husbands/wives etc.

“Each toilet will be fitted with industrial strength extractor fans in order to avoid any awkard ‘aromas’ when trying to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger.

“There is also a high probability that our morale agents will intentionally remove toilet paper from some of the new toilets, just to see what happens when two complete strangers are both faced with every toilet-goers worst nightmare.

“We think that this sort of situation would be a great team building exercise as the duo are forced to work together in order to avoid any awkward ‘situations’.

“The toilets will be rolled out soon, but expect to see the first ones pop up in London, Liverpool and Manchester”.

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