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Mnangagwa Renames Kariba “Donald Bay,” Declares Himself Trump’s Best Friend
Harare, Zimbabwe – March 2025
By Fredson Masawi | Satirical Talk | In a diplomatic maneuver no one saw coming, Zimbabwean President Emmerson Mnangagwa has officially renamed Lake Kariba to “Donald Dam”, in what he describes as “the ultimate symbol of loyalty” to the newly re-elected U.S. President, Donald Trump.
Standing in front of a poorly repainted billboard of Victoria Falls—now labeled Trump Falls—Mnangagwa addressed the nation, declaring that Zimbabwe is America’s most loyal friend under Trump’s leadership.
“Let the world know that while other nations waste time with trade deals and military alliances, Zimbabwe knows what true friendship looks like! America, you have your Donald, and now, we give you Donald Dam!” the President proclaimed, his signature scarf flapping majestically in the wind.
Trump vs. Zelensky: Mnangagwa’s Battle for Best Friend Status
In what many believe to be a subtle jab at Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, Mnangagwa hinted that he was Trump’s true ally on the international stage.
“While some leaders beg for tanks and missiles, Zimbabwe is giving Trump what really matters—landmarks named in his honor! Zelensky may have NATO, but does he have a Dam? I don’t think so!” Mnangagwa boasted, as a handful of confused fishermen looked on.
Sources inside State House claim Mnangagwa has sent a personal invitation to President Trump, encouraging him to visit “Donald Dam” and personally bless its waters. The Zimbabwean leader has allegedly even instructed his aides to prepare a golden fishing rod as a gift for the U.S. President.
Trump Falls & Donald Dam: Zimbabwe’s New Tourism Strategy?
This follows Mnangagwa’s recent decision to rename Victoria Falls as “Trump Falls”, a move that has already caused confusion among travel agencies and left geography teachers frantically updating maps.
In what appears to be a broader strategy to align Zimbabwe with Trump’s America, government insiders have hinted that more rebranding efforts are underway. Some suggested names include:
• The Zambezi River becoming “Melania Stream”
• Matobo Hills being renamed “Ivanka Peaks”
• Harare International Airport rebranded as “The Trump Air Hub”
Global Reactions: Silence from Washington, Shock in Zimbabwe
While Trump’s administration has yet to officially respond to Mnangagwa’s grand gesture, one White House aide reportedly said: “The President loves anything with his name on it, so this might actually work.”
Back home, reactions have been mixed, with opposition leaders calling the move “an embarrassing stunt”, while tourism officials scrambled to update brochures.
Meanwhile, Ukrainian President Zelensky has yet to comment, but unconfirmed reports suggest he is considering renaming the Black Sea as “Biden Waters” in a counter-move.
As Zimbabwe eagerly waits for a response from Washington, Mnangagwa remains hopeful, stating:
“It’s only a matter of time before Trump tweets about us. And when he does, Zimbabwe will never be the same again!”